There's a couple of reasons why I needed to take some time away. Someone who was really close to me died and it wasn't unexpected it was just completely strange them not being there anymore. She was such a force in my life and it's crazy that she isn't there to call anymore. This happened just before I went to the US for a few weeks and I think I buried my head in the sand about it to make sure I enjoyed my time away, but it actually just ended up making it worse because I thought I was okay, and then I wasn't.
It's like I have so many parts of me that I'm trying to make happy or at least appease and I can't help but think what would 13-year-old me think of 24-year-old me. But then I realise that 13-year-old me wouldn't give a damn, because 13-year-old me didn't give a damn about much. At 13, I would have been jealous of the fact I had my own flat and was completely self-sufficient. At 13, I would have just been pleased that I had a boyfriend that loves and respects me and a best friend too. At 13, I would just have been happy that I found the confidence to go to a completely different city and live by myself because at 13 none of this shit mattered. And I guess that's the point.