In just a few months I will be turning 24. Twenty-four. Two entire decades and another four years. That's so odd. When I was small, I remember my oldest brother turning 18 and thinking it must be so odd to be a grown up and where I would be if I reached that age, The idea of being a fully-fledged adult the second you turn 18 seems like such a crazy concept now, and the (almost) six years between that age and now I think I've learned more, achieved more and generally just grown up more than during the other 18 years of life.
I'm not an expert, and I definitely don't have this whole 'life' thing down but I have learnt some stuff, some important stuff that I think most 20-somethings can relate to. So here are my life musings from a 23 and a bit year old, and I hope they aren't too cringey when I look back on them in a few year's time. When I'm writing them, I'm thinking about stuff I'd tell my 13-year-old self, so please don't think I'm being preachy.
I'm not an expert, and I definitely don't have this whole 'life' thing down but I have learnt some stuff, some important stuff that I think most 20-somethings can relate to. So here are my life musings from a 23 and a bit year old, and I hope they aren't too cringey when I look back on them in a few year's time. When I'm writing them, I'm thinking about stuff I'd tell my 13-year-old self, so please don't think I'm being preachy.
Everyone has their own battles, so be kind - Richard Attenborough said something like this (but a lot more eloquently) and I think it's one of the most important life lessons. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with, especially girls. Even those skinny girls that look perfect are worrying about something, whether it's that the argument they had this morning or whether that burger will make them fat or whether their boyfriend noticed how fat her thighs looked this morning. We all have to deal with this stuff. Maybe someone was mean to you on the train this morning, but you have no idea what might have happened to them in the few hours that you have eaten your breakfast and started your journey to work. Life is mean sometimes and bad things happen to nice people, so be kind where you can. Of course, this doesn't mean be a door mat but be one of the good ones - it'll make life easier I promise.
Travel as much as you can - A lot of the world's problems are based on ignorance and fear and I truly believe that travelling as much as you can makes you a better person. It's something that I am passionate about and want to spend the rest of my life doing in some context. I think learning and experiencing other cultures, even if it's in the same country that you live is so important, especially when you are young and have nothing holding you back. So go to Cornwall and surf with fish 'n' chips or go to Costa Rica and spot the incredible wildlife - just go and soak it all up.
Don't fall in love with someone to mend them - This is a biggie and something that took me a lot of heartache and arguments and nights spent alone crying to learn. Now, all people are a bit of a fixer-upper. It's OK that it annoys you that he never puts the toilet seat down, or that she never picks her clothes off the floor. It's fine, as long as you can deal with it. But don't be with someone because you see the potential for them to change into someone you'd like, just as you shouldn't tolerate someone wanting to change you. We all have flaws and that's OK, but trying to change who someone is just isn't.
Accept your body - We all have our hang ups, whether you're a girl or a boy there will be a part of your body that you're not fond of. But you know what? Unless you have a stack of money there's nothing you can do about it, and if you do have a stack of money, you'll just hate something else when you're done. So appreciate how lucky you are to have your body. Love your strong legs that allow you to walk, love your arms for allowing you to write, love your eyes that allow you to read and discover new things every day, and love your wobbly tummy because it is the product of some brilliant meals and experiences that will be there long after you stop caring about your wobbly tummy.
Keep calm and eat a sandwich - Most of the time when you are so angry you think your blood is about to boil, and you consider yelling at every human being ever born, just take yourself away to a room alone, sit down, have a cup of coffee and eat a sandwich. Nine times out of ten, everything will seem a little brighter on a full stomach.
Your parents are right about a lot of things, but not everything - Having savings does make life so much easier, and less stressful, and going to bed early does make a difference in the morning. See, your parents were right about a hell of a lot of things, but not everything. It's OK to have different opinions on some stuff but pick your arguments with them. Is it really worth it? Because when they are gone they're gone and there's nothing you can do about it, so just sit calmly and smile - even if it is the most ridiculous thing you ever heard. It doesn't make your opinions any less valid or important.
Spending time alone is great - Don't be scared of being alone. Learn to enjoy your own company, it's makes life a lot more enjoyable. Find stuff you like doing alone, whether that's binge-watching Ru Paul on Netflix or reading a book - discover what it's like to be completely fine being alone, even if it's lonely sometimes. This also means that you will surround yourself with people that you truly value, and that truly value you. You will find friends that you see because they make your ribs hurt from laughing, and you will visit your parents to see how they are, rather than to get some food or money. Learning to be self-sufficient (I can cook, live alone, manage my finances, change a bulb, plug in a DVD player etc) is the greatest achievement of my 24 years.
Travel as much as you can - A lot of the world's problems are based on ignorance and fear and I truly believe that travelling as much as you can makes you a better person. It's something that I am passionate about and want to spend the rest of my life doing in some context. I think learning and experiencing other cultures, even if it's in the same country that you live is so important, especially when you are young and have nothing holding you back. So go to Cornwall and surf with fish 'n' chips or go to Costa Rica and spot the incredible wildlife - just go and soak it all up.
Don't fall in love with someone to mend them - This is a biggie and something that took me a lot of heartache and arguments and nights spent alone crying to learn. Now, all people are a bit of a fixer-upper. It's OK that it annoys you that he never puts the toilet seat down, or that she never picks her clothes off the floor. It's fine, as long as you can deal with it. But don't be with someone because you see the potential for them to change into someone you'd like, just as you shouldn't tolerate someone wanting to change you. We all have flaws and that's OK, but trying to change who someone is just isn't.
Accept your body - We all have our hang ups, whether you're a girl or a boy there will be a part of your body that you're not fond of. But you know what? Unless you have a stack of money there's nothing you can do about it, and if you do have a stack of money, you'll just hate something else when you're done. So appreciate how lucky you are to have your body. Love your strong legs that allow you to walk, love your arms for allowing you to write, love your eyes that allow you to read and discover new things every day, and love your wobbly tummy because it is the product of some brilliant meals and experiences that will be there long after you stop caring about your wobbly tummy.
Keep calm and eat a sandwich - Most of the time when you are so angry you think your blood is about to boil, and you consider yelling at every human being ever born, just take yourself away to a room alone, sit down, have a cup of coffee and eat a sandwich. Nine times out of ten, everything will seem a little brighter on a full stomach.
Your parents are right about a lot of things, but not everything - Having savings does make life so much easier, and less stressful, and going to bed early does make a difference in the morning. See, your parents were right about a hell of a lot of things, but not everything. It's OK to have different opinions on some stuff but pick your arguments with them. Is it really worth it? Because when they are gone they're gone and there's nothing you can do about it, so just sit calmly and smile - even if it is the most ridiculous thing you ever heard. It doesn't make your opinions any less valid or important.
Spending time alone is great - Don't be scared of being alone. Learn to enjoy your own company, it's makes life a lot more enjoyable. Find stuff you like doing alone, whether that's binge-watching Ru Paul on Netflix or reading a book - discover what it's like to be completely fine being alone, even if it's lonely sometimes. This also means that you will surround yourself with people that you truly value, and that truly value you. You will find friends that you see because they make your ribs hurt from laughing, and you will visit your parents to see how they are, rather than to get some food or money. Learning to be self-sufficient (I can cook, live alone, manage my finances, change a bulb, plug in a DVD player etc) is the greatest achievement of my 24 years.
What do you think? What would you tell your teenage self?